Too much, too much.
TJ has a bad habit of looking at everything all at once, feeling overwhelmed and then going into avoidance mode. I have always had to help him with cutting things into small sections and moving through it all until, before he knows it, he is done. How do I know what he is feeling/thinking/doing? That is me. I HAVE to see the whole thing...the Big Picture, first...but, I have learned to back up, take a deep breath and either cut things into smaller chunks and doing it that way OR just putting one foot in front of the other and not looking to how far the 'finish line' is...or I might just give up.
I can endure quite a bit of physical pain, too. As long as I know there will be an end. I don't even have to know WHEN it will end...just know that it will.
However, over the last couple of days, things have come at me from all directions faster than I can compute them. I am in a major state of anxiety. I have to sit myself down and concentrate on taking long, slow deep breaths. TRY and get my mind on something else. At least long enough to stave off the panic attacks.
There is nothing really crucial...nothing horrible. Just a basement to continue scrubbing with disinfectant while sorting things out for community garage sale, Goodwill, or garbage. Things HAVE to go.
The realtor was assigned and I talked with her on the phone yesterday. She seems very nice and we get along well. Today I got more house listings in my email from her...nothing really new. But I had to give her some idea of ones that we would be interested in seeing. She is going to set up appointments for me for Thursday.
TJ is going job hunting over the next few days. He is on spring break this week and he made a list (with me) of some places he wants to go fill out applications.
I am still trying to keep up with my homework in my computer class. It is a pain in my...well...neck. I am learning things...but it is one of those hidden prerequisites. It wasn't on my list of classes I had to take BUT if I want to take the two computer classes that are on my list of classes I have to take I have to take THIS class. Sneaky, aren't they? It should be a law that you only have to go to college once. If you have a degree, any advancement or job changes should come with its own training...no more college. I'm sick of it.
I haven't revamped my resume and submitted it yet. I SHOULD be out there looking for a job now. Then all of this stuff gets plopped in my lap. There was a time when I was younger that I would have done it all and not thought anything of it. Today I am feeling very old...or worn out...frayed...whatever you want to call it. The tread is low and I'm in need of new tires. And how about a fresh battery while we're at it?
I think tomorrow I need to sit and find time to draw myself a 'map' of things. Then I can give myself a timeline...divide it all into smaller, more digestible pieces.
Troy is off in Florida. His plane was supposed to leave at 10...it didn't leave until 1. He missed his connecting flight in Atlanta and they had to find him another. The new flight was delayed so he at least had time to get something to eat. He finally reached his destination...5 hours later than he was scheduled to. The last time he had to fly out to California for some training they lost his luggage. I think I'd walk.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Life Changes SO Fast
With all the rains that the area has endured, we ended up with a flooded basement. The thing is our flooded basement could have been prevented. It has to do with some structural problems that the landlord has known about for over 3 years and has done nothing to fix. Then, on top of it all, the sump pump quit. After arguing with the landlord on the phone this morning, Troy opened up his work e-mail and there was an email from GMAC financing...they are affiliated with the company Troy works for...and it was telling how they could help us buy a house.
We have been talking about doing this and hoping to do it soon but were uncertain about our downpayment. However, after a few hours of exchanging information, we got a call back from them and was told that we were preapproved and told about programs they had that we qualified for to help us. They have their own realtors that they work with and they are going to assign us one. She told us to start looking for a house. So, we took a break and headed out for dinner. On the way to the restaurant I took Troy through a couple of neighborhoods that I like. They had several houses for sale. One in particular raised our interest.
I am kinda excited and yet, looking ahead at the work of looking at houses, then the wall painting, the packing, the moving...oh well. We'll make it. At least we will have our own home to build equity in and no landlord to put up with.
In the meantime, the landlord called ME at the restaurant (he no longer wants to talk to Troy) and wanted to talk about giving us a month free of rent for our trouble. I told him I'd call him tomorrow...we were having dinner. Well...I didn't want to ruin it talking to him.
Pray that we will find the right house for us...and quickly before the interest rates change again!
We have been talking about doing this and hoping to do it soon but were uncertain about our downpayment. However, after a few hours of exchanging information, we got a call back from them and was told that we were preapproved and told about programs they had that we qualified for to help us. They have their own realtors that they work with and they are going to assign us one. She told us to start looking for a house. So, we took a break and headed out for dinner. On the way to the restaurant I took Troy through a couple of neighborhoods that I like. They had several houses for sale. One in particular raised our interest.
I am kinda excited and yet, looking ahead at the work of looking at houses, then the wall painting, the packing, the moving...oh well. We'll make it. At least we will have our own home to build equity in and no landlord to put up with.
In the meantime, the landlord called ME at the restaurant (he no longer wants to talk to Troy) and wanted to talk about giving us a month free of rent for our trouble. I told him I'd call him tomorrow...we were having dinner. Well...I didn't want to ruin it talking to him.
Pray that we will find the right house for us...and quickly before the interest rates change again!
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Spring Break
It has been a most 'interesting' week. It started out okay. Nothing new or earth shattering. I was going good and Bethany was...Troy was off on a trip and TJ was still dragging. By Thursday things ground to a halt again. Bethany got up and was arfing her guts out, TJ was holding his stomach and moaning and groaning. As the day went on I began to feel worse and worse.
I took Bethany to the doctor's and they looked her over. Found nothing wrong but swollen glands and pronounced her to have the flu. They gave her something for the nausea and we went home. She went to bed and, other than waking up to get something to drink and to relieve herself, she pretty much stayed in bed for about 24 hours straight. She flopped around on Friday, too. TJ was out and I went face down on the bed after a teeth cleaning appt. The dentist was slow, being yappy, so I told the desk that I couldn't wait for him...I wasn't feeling too well and since I had to be back in a few weeks for a filling, he could check the rest of my teeth out then. I was feeling so very horrible. Troy came home tired and went to bed. Nobody was moving much on Thursday night.
Friday came and I took TJ to the doctor's for HIS check up. Before that Troy and I picked TJ's car up from the mechanic's. It had started to snow and I didn't want to wait until later. After taking TJ to the doctor's I did a couple necessary errands then we went home and stayed. We watched the snow and sleet fall for the next 24+ hours.
I was feeling pretty horrible and had a migraine Saturday so I was pretty well out of commission Saturday. Nobody moved. However, when there was a lull in the snow and it looked like it was pretty much over, the guy down the road with the snowblower cleared the sidewalks and everyone's driveway. I SO appreciate him!
Today has been quiet. The sun came out and the snow started to melt.
Scrawny showed up Saturday looking for food. The snow had drifted up on our back porch so Troy had to get the shovel and clear it off and clear the snow from the squirrel feeder. She came jumping through the snow and when she made it to the porch she looked like a snowsquirrel. She sat on her haunches and held her front paws together like she was begging and stared at the back door until Troy opened the door and gave her some peanuts. He also filled the squirrel feeder. She came by today and was busy diving into the feeder. She lifts the lid on top and goes down inside to get what she wants.
I got a piece of good news in my email Friday night from my Employee Training and Development teacher...I got a '100' on my final! I thought it was nice of her to send me the grade before she had them posted!
This next week is my 'spring break' and I have a resume to redo. That's my homework. Troy is planning on staying home. TJ's class load will be a wee bit lighter since it is OGT testing week so some of his teachers are not putting up any new assignments. He passed his tests with flying colors the first time around so he doesn't have to worry. Just get caught up in anything he might be behind in. THen the next week is HIS spring break. Troy will be in Florida for some conference. I tried to talk him into taking TJ with him. He just laughed and said, "sure...a teenage boy in Florida during spring break!" I don't think that is such a funny idea! Oh well. I tried.
I am highly anticipating the start of the Tribe season. I am interested how much of a difference Masa Kobayashi is going to make to the bullpen. I just hope Hafner can step it up and Blake has some life left in him.
And football...with all the new additions to the Browns' I am thinking that if they can't make it into the playoffs at the end of this season they need to know when to fold 'em. They have already had their draft and I am really excited with the players they have added. This could be an awesome team this year.
As for the Cavaliers...all I can say is...Andy, it is ABOUT TIME! The 'new' guys are doing okay. I'm still not highly impressed because they don't play consistently. We need Daniel Gibson back in line along with Z. There is concern over messing up the rhythm but I don't see it. Z has been playing strong and pulling out a few surprises with his shooting this season. Gibson only compliments James.
Okay...enough sports talk. Enough period. I'm outta here!
I took Bethany to the doctor's and they looked her over. Found nothing wrong but swollen glands and pronounced her to have the flu. They gave her something for the nausea and we went home. She went to bed and, other than waking up to get something to drink and to relieve herself, she pretty much stayed in bed for about 24 hours straight. She flopped around on Friday, too. TJ was out and I went face down on the bed after a teeth cleaning appt. The dentist was slow, being yappy, so I told the desk that I couldn't wait for him...I wasn't feeling too well and since I had to be back in a few weeks for a filling, he could check the rest of my teeth out then. I was feeling so very horrible. Troy came home tired and went to bed. Nobody was moving much on Thursday night.
Friday came and I took TJ to the doctor's for HIS check up. Before that Troy and I picked TJ's car up from the mechanic's. It had started to snow and I didn't want to wait until later. After taking TJ to the doctor's I did a couple necessary errands then we went home and stayed. We watched the snow and sleet fall for the next 24+ hours.
I was feeling pretty horrible and had a migraine Saturday so I was pretty well out of commission Saturday. Nobody moved. However, when there was a lull in the snow and it looked like it was pretty much over, the guy down the road with the snowblower cleared the sidewalks and everyone's driveway. I SO appreciate him!
Today has been quiet. The sun came out and the snow started to melt.
Scrawny showed up Saturday looking for food. The snow had drifted up on our back porch so Troy had to get the shovel and clear it off and clear the snow from the squirrel feeder. She came jumping through the snow and when she made it to the porch she looked like a snowsquirrel. She sat on her haunches and held her front paws together like she was begging and stared at the back door until Troy opened the door and gave her some peanuts. He also filled the squirrel feeder. She came by today and was busy diving into the feeder. She lifts the lid on top and goes down inside to get what she wants.
I got a piece of good news in my email Friday night from my Employee Training and Development teacher...I got a '100' on my final! I thought it was nice of her to send me the grade before she had them posted!
This next week is my 'spring break' and I have a resume to redo. That's my homework. Troy is planning on staying home. TJ's class load will be a wee bit lighter since it is OGT testing week so some of his teachers are not putting up any new assignments. He passed his tests with flying colors the first time around so he doesn't have to worry. Just get caught up in anything he might be behind in. THen the next week is HIS spring break. Troy will be in Florida for some conference. I tried to talk him into taking TJ with him. He just laughed and said, "sure...a teenage boy in Florida during spring break!" I don't think that is such a funny idea! Oh well. I tried.
I am highly anticipating the start of the Tribe season. I am interested how much of a difference Masa Kobayashi is going to make to the bullpen. I just hope Hafner can step it up and Blake has some life left in him.
And football...with all the new additions to the Browns' I am thinking that if they can't make it into the playoffs at the end of this season they need to know when to fold 'em. They have already had their draft and I am really excited with the players they have added. This could be an awesome team this year.
As for the Cavaliers...all I can say is...Andy, it is ABOUT TIME! The 'new' guys are doing okay. I'm still not highly impressed because they don't play consistently. We need Daniel Gibson back in line along with Z. There is concern over messing up the rhythm but I don't see it. Z has been playing strong and pulling out a few surprises with his shooting this season. Gibson only compliments James.
Okay...enough sports talk. Enough period. I'm outta here!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Awl Inz
Does anyone have a cattle prod I can borrow? I have a 17 year old son I'd like to use it on! I really cannot stand it that I have a son that was born without any motivation whatsoever! He has plenty of brain power! He proved that by passing all of his OGT tests the first time AND scoring advanced scores in 3 of 5 of the tests. According to the school counselor that was quite an achievement. But now he seems to feel that he proved his point that his school work is irrelevant.
And I am supposed to sign him up for ACT tests? You're kidding, right?
I handed in my final for my Employee Training and Development last night. Okay. To be more technically precise....I emailed it in. Now I have to get my resume fixed and posted to a job board. Not sure how I'm going to pull off a full-time job when these two offspring of mine are so irresponsible. My daughter can do SLIGHTLY better than my son but they are going to kill me! Just trying to kick their butts into motion each day wears me out!
I have Excel work to do. Still picking away at that while I pick away at my son. He has an Earth Science test to take yet. AND an essay to write. The essay is not a problem for him. He can knock out an excellent piece of writing while sleeping...and I think he does. But he is good at writing.
He has Consumer Math class this year...just so he can get his last math credit under his belt. I told him that Consumer Math was the class that all the kids took that had no brains for math...couldn't cut it in algebra OR geometry. I told him that if he can't get an A in Consumer Math then someone snuck up on him and gave him a lobotomy in his sleep.
And now...back to 17 year old son butt kicking and working on my Excel...after picking up the other offspring.
Which is another thing...all weekend she had this boy calling her. CONSTANTLY! Nick. I said something to her about a boyfriend. She said, "He's not my boyfriend! We're just friends." hhhmmmm..."did you ask HIM? Cuz in my book if a guy calls a girl THAT MUCH, he's not JUST a friend." "he doesn't have a life and sometimes I screen the calls and I don't even answer all the time." "Do we need to have a talk, cuz if there is a school dance and this boy is there...I think you and I need to have a talk." "EWWWW MOM...NO!" "I'm thinking yea...we need to have a talk." And so it begins...I need to buy a new baseball bat. sigh.
And I am supposed to sign him up for ACT tests? You're kidding, right?
I handed in my final for my Employee Training and Development last night. Okay. To be more technically precise....I emailed it in. Now I have to get my resume fixed and posted to a job board. Not sure how I'm going to pull off a full-time job when these two offspring of mine are so irresponsible. My daughter can do SLIGHTLY better than my son but they are going to kill me! Just trying to kick their butts into motion each day wears me out!
I have Excel work to do. Still picking away at that while I pick away at my son. He has an Earth Science test to take yet. AND an essay to write. The essay is not a problem for him. He can knock out an excellent piece of writing while sleeping...and I think he does. But he is good at writing.
He has Consumer Math class this year...just so he can get his last math credit under his belt. I told him that Consumer Math was the class that all the kids took that had no brains for math...couldn't cut it in algebra OR geometry. I told him that if he can't get an A in Consumer Math then someone snuck up on him and gave him a lobotomy in his sleep.
And now...back to 17 year old son butt kicking and working on my Excel...after picking up the other offspring.
Which is another thing...all weekend she had this boy calling her. CONSTANTLY! Nick. I said something to her about a boyfriend. She said, "He's not my boyfriend! We're just friends." hhhmmmm..."did you ask HIM? Cuz in my book if a guy calls a girl THAT MUCH, he's not JUST a friend." "he doesn't have a life and sometimes I screen the calls and I don't even answer all the time." "Do we need to have a talk, cuz if there is a school dance and this boy is there...I think you and I need to have a talk." "EWWWW MOM...NO!" "I'm thinking yea...we need to have a talk." And so it begins...I need to buy a new baseball bat. sigh.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Settling Down
I got my van back yesterday. All fixed ready to go. $600!!!! Thank heaven for tax refunds. Next up is TJ's car. His goes into the shop Monday. His estimate comes in under $300.
I have some student loan money left so I bid on a souped up Dell PC with all the features I want AND a Dell laptop. I am not a big fan of the laptop but it can come in handy sometimes. So now all I have to do is wait.
Troy bought this CD thing at Borders that is supposed to be an anxiety reliever. There is some self hypnosis involved. I listened to it last night. After listening to the first CD I put the second one in and got to the hypnosis part. I don't know what is ALL on it...I remember getting to '2' on the relaxation countdown...then the next thing I remember was hearing him say '7' during the 'wake up'. I have NO IDEA what happened between '2' and '7'. I do know this much...I had the best night's sleep last night that I have had in a LONG time! AND the headache I've had all week is gone!
I was searching the job market online and found two jobs that I was interested in that are in this area. One of them is with a young company and it sounds like a comfortable fit...but it doesn't pay very well. I decided this time around I wasn't going to settle myself in for cheap. The other job is what I have been hoping to get into...a training company. And they pay well BUT I was looking down through their list of 'expectations' and it pretty much scared me! However, I know (and Troy backed it up) these companies don't expect to have you come through the door, show you the office and say, "now go do it". There is training involved. As Troy said, when he looked at his job description it scared the pants off of him at first...but then they gave him training and lots of back up. It was months and months before he got the hang of it totally on his own. So, I guess I just really need to get out there. It will all be good.
I also had a talk with my kids about being more self-sufficient. THey rely on me WAY too much for their age. Probably one of the best things for them is for me to get a job so that they have to do more for themselves.
And with that...back to laundry and working on my excel homework. Tomorrow I have to do my Employee Training Class final and get it turned in. I DID tell everyone I got a 98/100 on my presentation, didn't I? Sorry if I already mentioned it. I'm just really happy with that. She was impressed with what I did, too. It just makes me feel good to know I still have it in me!
I have some student loan money left so I bid on a souped up Dell PC with all the features I want AND a Dell laptop. I am not a big fan of the laptop but it can come in handy sometimes. So now all I have to do is wait.
Troy bought this CD thing at Borders that is supposed to be an anxiety reliever. There is some self hypnosis involved. I listened to it last night. After listening to the first CD I put the second one in and got to the hypnosis part. I don't know what is ALL on it...I remember getting to '2' on the relaxation countdown...then the next thing I remember was hearing him say '7' during the 'wake up'. I have NO IDEA what happened between '2' and '7'. I do know this much...I had the best night's sleep last night that I have had in a LONG time! AND the headache I've had all week is gone!
I was searching the job market online and found two jobs that I was interested in that are in this area. One of them is with a young company and it sounds like a comfortable fit...but it doesn't pay very well. I decided this time around I wasn't going to settle myself in for cheap. The other job is what I have been hoping to get into...a training company. And they pay well BUT I was looking down through their list of 'expectations' and it pretty much scared me! However, I know (and Troy backed it up) these companies don't expect to have you come through the door, show you the office and say, "now go do it". There is training involved. As Troy said, when he looked at his job description it scared the pants off of him at first...but then they gave him training and lots of back up. It was months and months before he got the hang of it totally on his own. So, I guess I just really need to get out there. It will all be good.
I also had a talk with my kids about being more self-sufficient. THey rely on me WAY too much for their age. Probably one of the best things for them is for me to get a job so that they have to do more for themselves.
And with that...back to laundry and working on my excel homework. Tomorrow I have to do my Employee Training Class final and get it turned in. I DID tell everyone I got a 98/100 on my presentation, didn't I? Sorry if I already mentioned it. I'm just really happy with that. She was impressed with what I did, too. It just makes me feel good to know I still have it in me!